The Mitchell Report

George Mitchell did baseball a disservice by naming names. The Mitchell Report does nothing to differentiate between players who asked questions about the benefits of PEDs and guys who injected regimented cocktails daily. Even worse by putting out a finite list it suggests to idiots that it is a complete list of every player whoever used, and that anyone not on the list is above reproach. It is what it is, two trainers and one ex player who named off players they sold drugs to because they faced jail time. There is a term for that, what’s it called? You know, someone in trouble names names to save themselves? Oh right a witch hunt. Wait, why do we call it that? Because of what happened in seventeenth century Salem, which we know about because Arthur Miller wrote The Crucible in allegory of McCarthyism, the US has a long history of faux investigations and douche bag investigators like what we’ve have seen from Senator Mitchell. Always disastrous. Always embarrassing when viewed through the lens of history.

Bud Selig is easily the best commissioner baseball has ever had, and likely that pro-sports has ever seen. He took a sub billion dollar entertainment showcase and turned it into a 6+ billion dollar business enterprise and the game is infinitely better for his service. The report he ordered will likely help cement that legacy, as it has largely exonerated him from steroids and it seems to have taken some of the heat off of Barry Bonds, deservingly so in both cases.

Unfortunately the way in which it was done was at the expense of Miguel Tejada, Roger Clemens, Mo Vaughn, and eighty other guys who deserved better. We’re allowing the listed to serve as scapegoats when guys Alex Rodriguez, David Ortiz, Cal Ripken, Derek Jeter, Paul Moliter, Jason Varitek, Ricky Henderson, Brian Rose, Mark McGwire and countless others who are just as culpable.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, Fuck You. Fuck Bud Selig for desecrating the careers of the people who made yours possible, Fuck George Mitchell for your part in this witch hunt and for being such a douche about it. But most of all, Fuck you baseball fans, all of us, all the commentators who decided to make a big deal out of this to get ratings, money and careers, and to all of us armatures out there that ate it up. We caused it. We fueled it. And you know what, we aren't that upset about it, we're just looking for someone to blame, to take the fall for us so we don't feel guilty. PEDs have been great for sports and great for baseball, everyone has benefited and it's time we all got over ourselves and just shut the hell up about it.