In 2002 I was eighteen and I voted in my first election, I hate to admit it, but yes, I voted for Mitt Romney. I didn’t feel right about it at the time, and I have come to deeply regret it. That is really an understatement, I don’t just regret it, it haunts me, my chest tightens and I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it. Sometimes at night I lay awake in bed, unable to sleep because I’m so horrifically overwhelmed with the shame and embarrassment I feel knowing that I had something to do with people taking Mitt Romney seriously on a national stage.
Have you ever dragged a stick through a nasty pond/swamp and when you pulled it up it had slimy hair like gunk on it that you dredged up from the water? I don’t know what that stuff is called, but I have to figure there are only about four or five things in the world more repulsive and vile than that crap, I don’t know what they all are, but I do know that Aids is one of them, and Mitt Romney is another. As governor the deep blue legislature was able to make him pretty irrelevant by overriding his vetoes, killing his legislation and just generally keeping Romney from doing any of the truly awful things that he plotted sitting alone in his secret evil laboratory while drinking puppy blood from the skull of a small child he hit with his car. True story[*]. In a Mitt Romney presidency we likely will not be so lucky to have such a noble and valiant Congress to protect us.
If you’re thinking about voting for him, don’t. The only thing he has going for him is that he looks presidential, but so do Fred Thompson, Barack Obama and Bill Richardson. Mitt Romney is a liar. Not just a little fibber but a boldface fucking liar. When he ran for governor he promised to cut income taxes, he never did. He did however manage to raise taxes by increasing fees, creating new taxes, and cutting local aide, which in turn raised local taxes. He likes to take credit for Massachusetts’s new health insurance laws, but the legislator had to drag him kicking and screaming, plus it’s a flawed system, and most of the flaws are in places he made changes. He scrapped college scholarship programs that generated new teachers, and he did it retroactively too. He never said a damn thing about illegal immigration until he ran for president. In both his run for governor and his run for the Senate he swore up and down that he respected a woman’s constitutional right to have soul consent over her own vagina, now he says he has always been on the side of vaginal regulation. In his previous elections he was clear in his support for the rights of consenting adults to maintain closed bedroom doors, yet he spent the majority of his time as governor fighting to strip people the right to be treated like people, and even after the court, the legislature and the populace told him to knock it off and stop being such a douche bag Romney refused (as evidence by the fact that he is still, such a douche bag).
He was a shitty ass governor. So much so that he wished he could have had George Bush’s approval ratings by the time he left office. His handpicked successor lost in a landslide, despite spending millions of her own dollars and launching a disgustingly negative campaign against a challenger who didn’t run a single negative ad.
Please primary voters don’t make the same mistake I made. I regret nothing more in my life than the vote I cast for him. I am truly and deeply sorry that my state elected him thereby affording him enough legitimacy to run for president, and words can not express how sorry I am that I had anything to do with it. My state failed you, so did I, and I’m sorry.
[*] Don’t believe me? Watch, I’ll bet I don’t even get sued